Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I cut my penus on the lid.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
