Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He has the fingertips of a God
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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