dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
