watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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