we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
