girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
