for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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