Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
wow bdsm is so cute
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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