I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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