K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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