Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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