Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize