I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
They should really pass out barf bags in church
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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