I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
