It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
