At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
