All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am one with the molecules
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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