Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Shame - the story of my life.
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