he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
