its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
