And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
