my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
