found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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