halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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