haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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