Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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