Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
