She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
