He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize