i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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