Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
