Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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