Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
