Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize