I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You are a genius and a whore.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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