I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
