i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
