I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
