you guys were way drunker than both of me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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