it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
