Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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