I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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