Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
