thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
