What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
