Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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