At least make sure they are 18
Why
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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