we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
