and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
