one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
