I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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