They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize