I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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