i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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