His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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