I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
